Neline|Nay

You don’t know me. Like you knew me. You stopped listening the moment that i needed you the most. You can’t see me. Like you saw me. Truth comes easy, but it’s hard for you to pull me from the ground. So i scream, scream cause it hurts. Your every word cuts me inside and leaves me worse. There’s no way back and what if there was.. You’d still be you and i’d still need to say goodbye. Maybe you don’t love me like i love you babe. Cause the ‘broken in’ you doesn’t make me run. There is beauty in the dark side and i’m not frightened. Without it i could never feel the sun. Nothing will ever change no matter what you say. I’m still gonna be the same. The harder we try, the harder that we fight, we can’t get it right. Say goodbye.

Is anybody out there? Does anybody see? That when the lights are off. Somethings killing me. I know life seems like people care. Cuz they’re always around you, but when the day is done everybody runs. Who will be the one to save me from myself? Who will be the one who’s there. Not ashamed to see me crawl. Who’s gonna catch me when i fall?  When the show is over and its empty everywhere its so hard to face going back alone. So i walk around alone. Anything to clear my head. ive got no where to go. Don’t got a home. Who will be the one to save me from myself? It may seem like i have everything, but everything means nothing when the ride that you’ve been on. That you’re coming off leaves you feeling lost. Is anybody out there? Does anybody see? Sometimes lonliness is just a part of me. Will you be the one to save?

Here I am again. And i’m starin at these same four walls alone again. And now, all the colors blend, and i’m growing old and i’ve become this empty page. Hold on, its tragic. Stumbling through all this static. I just wanna talk to you and my broken heart just has no use and i, i guess promises are better left unsaid. Every time you try to tell me, you say the words that im the only, but i’m the one who’s crying on the ground.. when you say love makes the world go round. My love, look at what you’ve done to me. For someone who has felt so strong, it’s amazing I’m completely gone. It’s not the love you give me. I’d rather be alone, believe me. It’s not the way you’ve found to treat me, i’d rather walk away. Everytime you try to tell me, i don’t care you’re not the only. Don’t you know i’m coming back around cause I say love makes the world go round.

The sky is falling and it’s early in the morning, but it’s okay somehow. I spilt my coffee, it went all over your clothes, i gotta wear mine now. And i’m always always late, and my hair is a mess even when it’s straight. But so what, I’m better off everyday. When i’m standing in the pouring rain, i don’t mind. I think of you and everythings alright. I used to think i had it good, but now i know that i misunderstood. With you i’d say, i’m better off in every way. My friends keep callin. They say, they say i’m stallin and they wanna meet you now. I tell them hell no, i say we’re tryin to lay low. Don’t wanna lose what i’ve found. Things are finally lookin up. My feet are on the ground even though i’m stuck. But so what i’m better off everyday. When i’m standing in the pouring rain, i don’t mind. I think of you and everythings alright. I used to think i had it good, but now i know that i misunderstood. With you i’d say, i’m better off in every way.

On a Monday, I am waiting. Tuesday, I am fading, and by Wednesday I can’t sleep. Then the phone rings, I hear you and the darkness is a clear view cuz you’ve come to rescue me. I fall, with you i fall so fast, i can hardly catch my breath i hope it lasts. It sems like i can finally rest my head on something real. I like the way that feels. It’s as if you know me better than i ever knew myself, i love how you can tell all the pieces of me. I am moody, messy, i get restless and senseless how you never seem to care. When i’m angry, you listen Make me happy, it’s your mission and you won’t stop til i’m there. How do you know everything i’m about ot say. Am i that obvious and if it’s written on my face i hope it never goes away. On a Monday, i am waiting and by Tuesday I amfading into your arms, so i can breath. Let me come back into your arms and i’ll be happy. Mission accomplished. Simple as that.

I looked away then i looked back at you. You tried to say the things that you can’t undo. If i had my way i’d never get over you, But todays the day i pray that we make it through. Make it through the fall, make it through it all. I don’t wanna fall to pieces. I just wanna sit and stare at you. I don’t wanna talk about it and i don’ want a conversation, i just wanna cry in front of you. I don’t wanna talk about it cuz i’m in love with you. You’re the only one i’d be with til the end. When i come undone, you bring me back again.. back under the stars back into your arms. I wanna know how you feel, what is real? but where do we start. All i can do now is have a little faith and hope.

Waking up i see that everything is okay. The first time in my life and now its so great. Slowing down I look around and i am so amazed. I think about the little things that make life great. I wouldn’t change a thing about it. This is the best feeling. The innocence is brilliant. I hope that it will stay. This moment is perfect, please don’t go away. I need you now. And i’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by. I found a place so safe, not a single tear. The first time in my life and now its so clear. Feel calm, I belong. So i’m happy her. It’s so strong and now i let myself be sincere. Its the state of bliss you think you’re dreaming. It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling. It’s so beautiful, it makes you wanna cry

Everyone loves you. Can’t do anything wrong. They laugh when you laugh. concerned when you cry. I’m wrong your right. complete opposites. In this relationship. Look down on me. Don’t give me sympathy. Adaversity amplifies your qualities. There’s simply nothing wrong with you. You’re wonderful. I wish i was too. I am obviously not cooperating, i am purposely no want to. Cuz the view from below gives me no Hope. Never been alone one day in your life. If the tables were to turn transition from black to white. Well i am insecure and if you don’t know this by now i’m telling you the only way that i know how. Your love i love to hate myself. Not surprising how i’ve made my own Hell. You keep promises, i break them. You try and i fake it. Your selfless that makes me selfish. I envy everything abouta you. I made up a lie.. i told everyone.. i didn’t need you. We take our separate ways. Our minds may be thinking the same but our hearts just can’t take anymore. We may be thinking of the same thing, but its not enough. I fight the need for you. I fight the want to communicate and i fight the feeling. Goodbye.

Remember when I cried to you a thousand times. I told you everything, you know my feelings. It never crossed my mind that there would be a time for us to say goodbye, what a big surprise. But i’m not lost, i’m not gone. I have not forgoten. These feelings i can’t shake no more. This feeling’s running out the door. I can feel it falling down. And i’m not coming back around. These feelings i can’t take no more. This emptiness in the bottom drawer. It’s getting harder to pretend and i’m not coming back around again. Remember when. I remember when it was ‘Together til the end’. Now i’m alone again, where do i begin? I cried a little bit, you died a little bit. Please say there’s no regrets and say you won’t forget. That was then, now it’s the end. I’m not going back, i can’t pretend.

Darling,

You’re hiding in the closet once again, start smiling. I know you’re trying real hard not to turn your head away, but just keep trying. Face the new tomorrow, tomorrow is not yesterday. I know its a drag, but wipe your eyes and put up your head. I wish you could be happy instead. There’s nothing else i can do, but love you the best that i can. Darling.. I was there once a while ago.. i know that it’s hard to be stuck with people that you love when nobody trusts. You’re not the only one who’s been through. I’ve been there alone and now so are you. I just want you to know, that its not your fault. Stop hiding in the closet and start smiling once again, for me please darling.

All this talking to you. I don’t know what I’m to do. I don’t know where you stand. What’s inside of your head. All this thinking of you.. Is that what you’re doing too? You’re always on my mind. I talk about you all of the time. Don’t wanna waste another day. Don’t wanna waste another minute. I can’t wait to see your face. Just to show you how much i’m in it. So open up your heart. Help me understand. Please tell me who you are. So I can show you who i am. You’re just standing by. You’re just wasting time. Why don’t you just tell me the truth? About me and you. And as the time goes by i hope you realize if you ask me to i just might be with you. Then i can show you who i really am.

Don’t know, don’t know if i can do this on my own. Why do you have to leave me? It seems i’m losing something deep inside of me. Hold on, on to me. Now I see. Everybody hurts some days. It’s okay to be afraid. Everybody hurts, everybody screams. Everybody feels this way and it’s okay. It feels like nothing really matters anymore. When you’re gone, i can’t breathe. And i know you never meant to make me feel this way. This can’t be happening. So many questions, so much on my mind. So many answers i can’t find. Wish i could turn back the time. I wonder why everyone everybody feels this way. But it will all be okay. Although sometimes i wish somebody could take me away to a better place.

It’s those moments when we are looking into each others eyes that I sit and wonder, is this what love is supposed to feel like? Both heart’s skipping a beat, our knees trembling, our minds racing, our hands wanting to feel our perfect skin, our lips needing each others kisses, and our souls desiring the warmth of our love. It’s between each kiss, each stroke of our tongues, each touch of our bodies getting closer that I ask myself is that what love suppose to feel like? You see every single experience I’ve had in my life bad or good has lead me up to you and trust was always an issue for the both of us, but I think we made an exception. You’re the one person I want to hold onto and never let go.

Today is the day. If i show you, if i just hold you just for today.. I’m not gonna wanna let go. I’m not gonna wanna go home. Tell me you feel the same. Cuz this feeling for you is for real. I can’t help myself, its the way i feel. When you look me in the eyes, like you did last night. Don’t ever say good bye cuz i can hardly stand it. It feels so right cause it does just to have you standing by my side. So don’t let me go cause you have my soul and i just wanted you to know. I don’t wanna look back cause i know that we have something the past could never change and no i’m stuck in the moment and my heart is open. Tell me that you feel the same. You hold me down. I’m safe, i’m sound when you’re around.

All this talking to you. I don’t know what I’m to do. I don’t know where you stand. What’s inside of your head. All this thinking of you is what you’re doing too. You’re always on my mind. I talk about you all of the time. Don’t waste another day. Don’t waste another minute. I can’t wait to see your face, just to show you how much i’m in it. So open up your heart. help me understand. I’ll tell you my truth. Yes i see too much of you lately and you’re starting to get on my nerves.. It’s a waste of my time lately. And i’m running out of words. If it’s really meant to be then you can find a way to say. Some times i wish you could just shut up, even when it gets tough cause this is love and you know when push comes to show it’s gonna take the both of us. But the conflict is what makes this love. It’s really great to be with you. This is how i could spend my life. But i’m capable of taking care of myself. You and your bad moods and your attitude is something i can manage, handle, and live with.